How do I start a review of The Expendables? Why don't you find out...
If like me you are a fan of 80s cinema, then you may have come across the films of Sylvester Stallone, Bruce Willis and Arnold Schwarzenegger, namely Rambo, Die Hard and Commando. Films that took screen action to another level, crushed the boundaries of realism and entered the realm of awesome. Films where one man is pitted against an army of say Russian soldiers, Evil terrorists and Intergalactic alien hunters. Films where studios new that violence sold and would push screen action violence to OTT limits. Then the 90s arrived and everything went quiet, sure there were action films but they became flashy and stylish not ridiculous and entertaining. Jet Li had only just ventured into western movies with Lethal Weapon 4, Sly's biggest hit of the 90s was Demolition Man, Bruce didn't leave the Action but made films such as Death Becomes Her and the awful Hudson Hawk and Arnie's Career took a dive thanks to films such as Junior and The Last Action Hero. But a new guy had arrived by start of the Millenium, a man who carried on the OTT action of the 80s and made no apologies for it. Films like The Transporter, Crank and Cellular catapulted a former cockney street dealer, Diving Champion and Kick Boxer into the lime light, that man is Jason Statham. Now after a brilliant career revival, thanks to the brilliant final part of his Rocky saga, Rocky Balboa and the brutal realistic action of Rambo 4, Stallone has gathered the cream of the once thriving action genre and some of the newbies for a film that could be called the ultimate B-action movie. Ladies and gentlemen i give you....THE EXPENDABLES....
The Plot:
Plot wise is where the film fails, the plot of The Expendables really takes a back seat and is more of a supporting actor that the main driving force of the film. Each scene only seems to exist so the next scene can have someone get shot or something blow up. Anyway The plot goes like this....
!!!!!!!!!WARNING! SPOILER ALERT!!!!!!!!!!
If like me you are a fan of 80s cinema, then you may have come across the films of Sylvester Stallone, Bruce Willis and Arnold Schwarzenegger, namely Rambo, Die Hard and Commando. Films that took screen action to another level, crushed the boundaries of realism and entered the realm of awesome. Films where one man is pitted against an army of say Russian soldiers, Evil terrorists and Intergalactic alien hunters. Films where studios new that violence sold and would push screen action violence to OTT limits. Then the 90s arrived and everything went quiet, sure there were action films but they became flashy and stylish not ridiculous and entertaining. Jet Li had only just ventured into western movies with Lethal Weapon 4, Sly's biggest hit of the 90s was Demolition Man, Bruce didn't leave the Action but made films such as Death Becomes Her and the awful Hudson Hawk and Arnie's Career took a dive thanks to films such as Junior and The Last Action Hero. But a new guy had arrived by start of the Millenium, a man who carried on the OTT action of the 80s and made no apologies for it. Films like The Transporter, Crank and Cellular catapulted a former cockney street dealer, Diving Champion and Kick Boxer into the lime light, that man is Jason Statham. Now after a brilliant career revival, thanks to the brilliant final part of his Rocky saga, Rocky Balboa and the brutal realistic action of Rambo 4, Stallone has gathered the cream of the once thriving action genre and some of the newbies for a film that could be called the ultimate B-action movie. Ladies and gentlemen i give you....THE EXPENDABLES....
The Plot:
Plot wise is where the film fails, the plot of The Expendables really takes a back seat and is more of a supporting actor that the main driving force of the film. Each scene only seems to exist so the next scene can have someone get shot or something blow up. Anyway The plot goes like this....
A Team of elite mercenaries are hired to locate and kill the fascist leader
of some made up south American country. While on a Recon mission to the island,
two of men discover that a former C.I.A operative turned international drug lord
is the one pulling all the strings. Barney (Stallone) quickly falls head over heels for
a woman who is the daughter of the General. Barney and Lee (Statham) decide that
if a company man is behind the troubles, they don't want anything to do with the job.
After a spot of trouble and a well staged fight. Barney and Lee decide to escape the island
and leave it as just a recon mission. They're chased to the docks where their sea plane is 'parked' and take off. Out sheer randomness, They decide to turn around and fly back over the island while Lee climbs into(?) the bone? of the plane where the controls for a pair of machines are and completely rip apart the shipping dock of the island killing at least 40-50 men and destroying many surrounding buildings, while not giving a damn about the lives of the people who they have selfishly destroyed....
Back in L.A( im guessing), Barney decided he's going to go back to the island for the woman and not for the mission. After a car chase and a fight between Dolph Lundgren and Jet Li, they board the plane where everyone's waiting. The last 30 minutes is just explosion after explosion and gun fight after gunfight.....
Plot wise, The Expendables will never win any major awards except maybe the Guys Choice Awards. It's a very familiar action movie plot. Infact the film is very reminiscent of the 1990 film Navy Seals. I know my explanation of the plot really doesn't bode well for the film but please keep reading...
The Cast:
Normally with my looks at the casting i do a little paragraph detailing what i thought of each person, but this time due to the size of the cast im only gonna put 2 or 3 words for some and a little bit more for others...
SYLVESTER STALLONE as Barney Ross
How is this man is his 60s, the guy is a legend. The fact that alot of the stunts he did he actually did them himself, including the fight between Steve Austin and himself. Acting wise, he's more relaxed than he was as John Rambo, Ross isn't a tortured Vietnam Vet but more an ageing John Spartan, there with the wise cracks and the Can do attitude that made John Spartan such a good character in Demolition man...
JASON STATHAM as Lee Christmas
The Stath is Stallone's second in-command and an expert knife thrower with his own personal problems. Mr.Statham shows that he can act and as usual is give great one liners that he delivers with his cockney wise ass charm. I was watching him and thinking that Lee Christmas could be Frank Martin before he became the Transporter...
DAVID ZAYAS as General Garza
Zayas is playing the kind of stereotypical south American war lord. not much to write home about in all honesty and his accent at times sounded like he was doing and impression of Al Pacino as Tony Montana.
ERIC ROBERTS as James Munroe
Yay Eric Roberts returns in a non shitty low-budget DTV movie. We love you Eric Roberts and you're daughter's turned out to be quite the hottie...yay Eric Roberts!!!
JET LI as Ying Yang
Jet is underused in the film, but does get a whole 10 minutes screen time with Stallone, and what he does with it is great and also pretty funny. Unfortunately this is probably his best American film.
RANDY COUTURE as Toll Road
Man this guy can fight, not bad at acting too...
TERRY CREWS as Hale Caesar
I fucking love Terry Crews....Nuff said!!!!
STEVE AUSTIN as Paine
Stone Cold is, in the same way as Jet Li, underused in the film as Eric Roberts' bodyguard/head goon.
GARY DANIELS as The Brit
Yay Gary Daniels is in a big feature film. Why has it taken so long...oh that's right, he's not the best actor in the world.
CHARISMA CARPENTER as Lacy
Hot as Cordelia in buffy, Hot as Cordelia in Angel, Hot as Lacy in the Expendables....yes she's hot but the character was utterly Pointless...
GISELLE ITIE as Sandra Garza
she was good, never heard of her before but she did alright....
MICKEY ROURKE as Tool
Damn this man is a good actor. After watching him in this and then looking back to films such as Harley Davidson and The Marlborough Man and Angel Heart, it's weird to think they star the same man. He's great as the former member of the expendables and they're resident tattooist. Check out The Wrestler for one tour de force performance from Rourke
THE MUCH TALKED ABOUT CHURCH SCENE...
BRUCE WILLIS as Mr. Church
Evil Bruce....the man responsible for setting up the mission, as usual Bruce brings a certain level of professionalism into the film and given that his scene is only small.
ARNIE as Trench
come back to us Arnie, we all miss you....i love this man with a passion. He makes an awesome entrance into the church, cigar in his mouth making cute little in-joke jibes to Stallone...why has this man gone to politics, i want to see him holding a fuck off big gun again. it's been to long...
THE ONE THAT GOT AWAY....
Why have i left this man for last? because he steals this entire film.....
DOLPH LUNDGREN as Gunnar
like i said he steals the entire film, im so glad Stallone signed him up for this. From his opening line about hanging a pirate to his one on one with Jet Li, he's just awesome. Gunnar is not that far removed from his Andrew Scott character in Universal Soldier, just less insane, actually thinking about it he's more like Chris Kenner in Showdown In Little Tokyo. Anyway like i said he steals the entire film....
THE DIRECTION:
Fair do's to Stallone, the man knows how to shoot action and my god does he do a good job. His direction is spot on. Although he does at times use some quite obvious CGI but i suppose when you think of the film you are watching, it kind of fits. When Michael Bay blew up a mansion at the end of Bad Boys II it was pretty damn impressive, Stallone goes one better and pretty much blows up an island, there are so many explosions it's unreal.
MY FINAL VERDICT:
Right...The Expendables is not an amazing film, it is what it is, it like an all you can eat buffet, once you've had all you can eat and you feel a little sick and there's apart of you that wishes you didn't have that last vol-au-vent, but ten minutes later, you get an urge to have one more sausage roll. That is what The Expendables is. When it's over, you feel a little full, but when you think about, you really want to see more. Thats how i found it. The starter was a bit lame but the main course was fucking awesome, and ladies and gentlemen this film is all about the main course, if only they'd skip the starters and throw me the main i'd be a happy man. Don't get me wrong the film is incredibly fun and it's great to see all these guys in one film but it still lacks something. I highly recommend this film for action junkies. For the casual viewer, they might find it a little tedious and rather pointless, but for us, who grew up on these kind of films, it definately brings forward a sense of nostalgia....
THE EXPENDABLE
FILM: 8/10 (6 for the film, an extra 2 for Dolph Lundgren)
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