!!!!!!!!WARNING! SPOILERS AFTER THE JUMP!!!!!!!!!!!
IN 2007, when Quentin Tarantino and Robert Rodriguez announced that they were going to work together on an homage to the old exploitation films of 70s and 60s entitled Grindhouse, they also stated that the films would play as a double feature linked by 4 fake trailers made by different directors. Those trailers were Don’t by Edgar Wright (Shaun Of The), Thanksgiving by Eli Roth (Hostel), Werewolf Woman Of The S.S by Rob Zombie (Devil’s Rejects) and one by Rodriguez called Machete. Machete caught the imagination of film goers and hailed it as the best part of the whole experience. With Death Proof by Tarantino, getting poor reviews and Planet Terror getting the better reviews, people still kept talking about Machete. Why was this fake trailer such a talking point? Well for a start it was more ‘Grind House’ than the two feature films put together and secondly because it starred everyone’s favorite Mexican, Danny Trejo, and not only Trejo, but Trejo with a massive machete. It seemed effortlessly cool, added to the mix was the awesome Jeff Fahey (Lost, Lawnmower man) and Rodriguez regular Cheech Marin as a Priest with two shotguns. But Machete was just a fake trailer for a non existent film. Due to the huge reaction the trailer got, Rodriguez announced that Machete would be turned into a full length movie originally set to debut on DVD. The film has just received a cinema release to great acclaim. I saw the film and I have to say it surpasses both Death Proof and Planet Terror in sheer grindhouse appeal, a revenge thriller filled with babes, guns, and gore and there is gore aplenty.
The Plot:
The plot is quite simple, Trejo plays a Mexican Federale, as one character points out, C.I.A, N.S.A and F.B.I all rolled into one unstoppable pissed of Mexican. After witnessing the death of his family at the hands of a Mexican drug Lord, Machete turns up in Austin, Texas as a day laborer where he meets a man who offers him 150,000 dollars to kill a state senator, when he is set up he spends the remainder of the movie being chased by the men responsible and dispatching them one by one like an unstoppable killing machine, along the way he meets a female immigration agent, a female taco vender/revolutionary, a former killer turned priest and a wealth of Mexicans.
THE CAST:
Ok, not only does Rodriguez bring back Trejo, Fahey and Marin but this time ups the cast to a phenomenal level that includes some actors who haven’t appeared in a theatrical film for some time. Below is the cast for MACHETE….
DANNY TREJO as Machete
Trejo is literally one of the coolest people in film at the moment, sure he usually plays a heavy and sometimes he’ll play against type such as the film he made with Maggie Gyllenhall called Sugar Baby, But it’s here as Machete that Trejo finally gets a leading role and he embraces it brilliantly. He is literally an unstoppable killing machine and the tattoos he sports, shows how much of a bad ass he really is and although he seems to get type cast as one thing, he’s still a respected character actor. All Hail Danny Trejo!!!
JEFF FAHEY as Michael Booth
Jeff Fahey is one of those actors who have never had the proper recognition he deserves. The first time I was aware of Fahey was as Jobe in The Lawnmower Man, and the man is excellent in almost everything he does. He recently starred in the last 3 seasons of LOST as Airline pilot Frank Lapidis, and again he excelled in that part, In Machete though, The Fahey we see on Screen is him at his badass best and he almost steals the movie.
JESSICA ALBA as Yvette Sartana
Ah the lovely Jessica Alba, not the best actress who ever graced the silver screen but one of the hottest, Here she plays the government agent trying to track down Trejo and find out who’s behind the assassination plot. She is the potential love interest for Trejo, but she manages to embrace the fun and chaos of the film and turns in a pretty decent performance.
ROBERT DeNIRO as Senator McClaughlin
DeNiro is awesome as the senator, who is not only corrupt but an obvious dumbass, but the fact that one of the greatest actors of all time is starring in a film based on a fake trailer shows that DeNiro is enjoying this new found comedic part of his Career. He plays a Texan senator that isn’t from Texas and when he’s not putting on a fake accent infront of the camera’s he’s talking like Ace Rothstein or Paul Vitti, the reason Fahey didn’t steal the film is because DeNiro does, and he’s really good fun to watch, but then again doesn’t Bob steal every film. The strange thing about both DeNiro and Pacino is that Bob is still classed as a credible actor where as Al Pacino has been referred to as parody of a man once at the top of game. But this about Bob and he’s awesome.
MICHELE RODRIGUEZ as Luz
Love Michele Rodriguez, she has that bad ass hard ass chick role down better than any other actress since Sigourney Weaver strapped on a Flame thrower as Ellen Ripley, and for a change, she gets a more feminine role than she is usually given. She’s also great fun as the mystical SHE, the leader of the NETWORK, the sort of underground freedom fighters.
DON JOHNSON as Von Jackson
Don’ motherfuckin’ Johnson plays the leader of the DeNiro financed border vigilante patrol and he’s so badass, ive not Johnson this cool since Harley Davidson and The Marlborough Man and it’s great to see him back on the big screen.
LINDSEY LOHAN as April
The most pointless character in the film, She lets it down and it’s a shame because she was once hailed as the best new young actress with films like the brilliant Mean Girls, but like a lot young actresses in Hollywood, she has thrown her career down the drain due to alcohol and drug addiction and now she looks like a whore. Fuck you Lindsey Lohan.
CHEECH MARIN as The Padre
Cheech is the man, as always he give a great comic performance and Machete is no exception. I would have liked him to have a larger part though.
STEVEN SEGAL as Torrez
Yes you read that correctly, the chubby ass-kicker of DTV movies such as Pistol Whipped and Against The Dark, appears here as the Mexican Drug lord, and sure the man is now a fatty fatty Boom Boom, but he just adds that extra bit of kick-ass cool to the film, and shows the man can actually act.
The Direction:
As usual Rodriguez’ direction is brilliant, and that he shoots, edits and scores his films shows just how talented the man actually is and even though Tarantino proclaims to be a exploitation/grindhouse expert, Rodriguez seems to ‘get it’ more than his fast talking friend. The Film is fast paced, foul mouthed and violent as hell, with some ingenious kill ideas such as using someone’s intestines as a rappel. The one thing that always bothers me about Rodriguez though is that his adult orientated films always seem to have a lot of care and work thrown at it and his kids films just look cheap. But the man did give us some great films.
The Music:
The score was done by Rodriguez’ own band Chingon and the music fits really well with the rest of the film.
MY FINAL VERDICT:
Like I said it’s unfortunate that the best thing to come out of the whole Grindhouse Experience was the Machete trailer and the film only surpasses that, it’s fast paced, violent, foul mouthed and a fun as hell film to watch. The girls are hot, the villains hammy and the kills ingenious, but It’s all about Danny Trejo, finally getting his chance to take the lead in a film and he does this so well. He’s an imposing, frightening looking man and a well loved actor and I hope Machete is the start of something better for him.
Out of the action films that have been released this year, those being The A-Team (great Fun), The Losers (even better than The A-Team) and The Expendables (a bit of let down), Machete ranks as the best of a bullet riddled bunch and im planning on watching it again. Very soon, Maybe tomorrow. But it all seriousness, Machete is a great, fun film that I highly recommend checking out….
MACHETE (2010)
FILM: 9/10
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